The Day I Stopped Watering Down My Calling
“I’ve been afraid to be ‘too much’ of a Christian in my business. Charlie Kirk’s legacy changed that forever.”
The peace of knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Journaling my thoughts after witnessing God move through the women I was called to invite. This wasn’t my transformation moment - it was my confirmation moment.
Myth: You need to add more to be enough. Reality: You need to remove what’s not yours.
I’ve been struggling with something for months, and I’m done being silent about it.
For the past year, I’ve been watering down my message. Instead of saying “who GOD created you to be,” I’ve been saying “who you were created to be.” Instead of boldly declaring that Jesus Christ transformed my life, I’ve been speaking in generalities about “faith”.
Why? Fear. Fear of losing clients. Fear of missing out on stages. Fear of offending someone. Fear of being “too much.”
But last week, everything changed.
September 5th and 6th, I attended the LO Sister Conference - the same conference where I surrendered my life to Christ three years ago. This year’s theme was “Eyes to See His Vision,” and honestly? Something felt different this time.
But God had been pulling at my heart to invite two specific women: a complete stranger and a friend I hadn’t spoken to in months. I had no idea why, but I was obedient and followed that nudge.
During the conference, there was a moment when the host, Sadie, came on stage and said we’d spent time worshiping together, but now she wanted us to stay seated and allow the worship team to worship OVER us. To let the Holy Spirit move through the room.
For the first few minutes, I sat there with my eyes closed, praying. Then I looked to my right.
The stranger I’d invited was leaning forward, head in her hands, tears streaming down her face.
Next to her, my friend was on her knees, worshiping through tears.
Next to her, Jenna - the friend who originally invited ME to this conference three years ago - was praying out loud with her eyes closed.
And at the end of our row, my teenage daughter had her eyes closed, singing worship, with her arm stretched back, hand on another woman who was being held and prayed over.
In that moment, I KNEW.
They were my reason for being there. Not for my own transformation this time, but to witness theirs. To see the fruit of saying YES to God’s calling on my life.
This year felt different because it wasn’t about me receiving - it was about me GIVING. The peace I felt wasn’t confusion; it was confirmation that I’m walking exactly where God called me to walk.
The vision He gave me in my car back in 2023 - seeing myself on stage with thousands of women - it’s not about building Pam’s empire. It’s about bringing people into a vibrant relationship with Christ.
And then Charlie Kirk was murdered. A man who walked boldly and unapologetically in his faith. Who never watered down the Gospel out of fear. His death lit a fire in me that I can’t ignore anymore.
I watched thousands of people who’ve never been to church step foot in one this weekend. Christians who hadn’t been in years went back. Non-believers are suddenly curious about faith. People are hungry for TRUTH, not watered-down, palatable messaging.
Here’s what I realized: The very thing I thought might cost me clients, stages, and opportunities… that’s actually what’s going to draw the RIGHT people to me like a magnet.
I don’t need to ADD more generic messaging to appeal to everyone. I need to REMOVE everything that’s not authentically mine - including the fear that’s been silencing my true calling.
Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. He pulled me out of the pit of alcoholism, shame, and perfectionism. He gave me visions of my purpose. He saved my marriage, transformed my heart, and called me to help other women find their identity in HIM.
I will not water that down anymore.
I will not be silent anymore.
If you’re a believer who’s been hiding your faith in your business, your content, your conversations… what would happen if you stopped trying to be palatable and started being POWERFUL? What if the very thing you’re afraid to say out loud is exactly what someone needs to hear today?