‘You’ve changed.’ ‘You’re not the same person anymore.’ After my rock-bottom moment, I heard these words constantly, and they cut deep. It felt like people were telling me I wasn’t a good person anymore. But here’s what I finally realized: They weren’t mourning who I was becoming. They were mourning the version of me that served their needs. The people-pleasing, perfectionist me who bent over backwards to keep everyone comfortable. They didn’t know the woman God created me to be - so why was I so afraid of disappointing them?

How many versions of yourself do you have? The one for your boss, your friends, your family, your clients? Are you exhausted from being a chameleon, shape-shifting to earn applause from people who were never meant to validate you? I spent 30 years performing - from 4th grade cool kids to banking clients to real estate agents - becoming whoever I thought they wanted me to be. Until I realized I was drowning out the only voice that actually mattered.

I thought I had found myself twice in my life. I was wrong both times. At 14, I went from kid to mom. At 18, from teenage mom to wife. When that marriage ended, I thought ‘FINALLY! Now I can find out who I really am!’ But I just traded one set of roles for another - becoming the party girl I never got to be in high school. It took 20 years and a rock-bottom moment to realize I’d been confusing roles with identity my entire life.